7 Key Things to Know About the Virgo Man in Bed

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Loren Elara

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Virgo is the sign of the virgin, but that doesn’t mean he’s particularly chaste.

On the surface, the Virgo man may appear in sync with his virginal symbol – humble, pure, and restrained.

Underneath, though, is a bubbling well of earthy sensual desire, waiting to be tapped into.

He is fundamentally unselfish in bed. He is a pleaser and wants his partner to feel as much pleasure as possible.

Though he’s an earth sign, his sign also possesses a Mutable nature, which means he’s happy to try a variety of techniques and methods to ensure that his partner has a good time.

In this post, you’re going to learn some key things about these men and how to turn them on in bed:

Related: 5 Virgo Spirit Animals that Perfectly Represent the Sign

1. He can be a shy lover, especially early on in the relationship

Virgo men aren’t known to be that voracious and passionate between the sheets. His Earth sign nature makes him calm and his hyper-mental nature keeps him in his head a lot. Some Virgo men can be near silent in bed.

What causes such a quiet reserve? For one, he’s an over-thinker and a perfectionist. So much of his mental concentration while having sex is spent fixated on how to perform well and be good for enough his partner. At the same time, he’s trying to let go and be relaxed as much as possible. This can create friction.

Since the Virgo man can constantly worry if he’s doing the right thing in bed, he can struggle to open up and enjoy himself. He can fear the emotional vulnerability of sex, so if he doesn’t have a lot of comfort and trust with you, he may seem even more distant.

Related: 12 Clear Signs That a Virgo Man Likes You

2. He’s focused on foreplay

As an Earth sign, Virgo is grounded in sensualism and appreciates the process of sex rather than a frantic race to the finish.

He’s a caretaker by nature and will take his sweet time with foreplay. He’ll patiently move across your body and open you up with his skillfully dextrous hands and mouth.

While his slow-moving sexual nature can make him appear unsure of himself to some, in reality, his protracted approach is a targeted technique to arouse you with care and attention.

Related: 7 Essential Things to Know About Dating a Virgo Man

3. He pays immaculate attention to the details

Virgo men are keenly aware of all the small details that go into an enjoyable sexual experience. He’ll plan every little detail to help ensure a pleasurable experience for him and his partner.

Expect him to set the mood with good food, massage tools, candles, aromatherapy, soft sheets, etc. He will keep on top of his personal hygiene (and expects you to, as well). He’ll also ensure the locale is spotlessly clean.

He’s a focused lover who’s intent on zeroing in on you and keeping the mood right throughout your experience. He will make sure that nothing intrudes on your sexual time together – with his phone silenced or turned off.

He’ll be tuned into your appearance and cleanliness, so be sure to bathe and take care before slipping between the sheets with him. If he’s at your place, be sure to have everything picked up, put away, and for your room to be clean in every way.

It can be nerve-wracking to have a Virgo man in your place of residence because they are so scrutinizing and picky about things. But do this right so he can drop his worrying mind and you’ll both be able to relax and enjoy yourselves.

Related: 7 Simple Ways to Make a Virgo Man Miss You Like Crazy

4. Environment is of utmost importance to him

Yes – more on cleanliness and environment, because this is such an important element of Virgo’s sexual wellbeing.

Virgo men are such neat freaks that some of these guys literally can’t relax into a sexual mode if they’re surrounded by clutter, or even get a whiff of anything stale. Cleanliness is godliness to a Virgo man. And a lack of it is a huge turn-off.

To really satisfy him (and for him to satisfy you), you’ll have to wait until you have the opportunity to be in a cozy, uncluttered, unhurried environment. Typically safely confined between four walls.

Because of his particularness, don’t worry too much about introducing spontaneity into your sex life. He’s not big on PDA (he’s too modest and too much of a worrywart to enjoy heavy petting out in public places).

Related: 7 Potent Ways to Make a Virgo Man Deeply Obsessed with You

5. He prefers that sex be built on a strong mental connection

Virgo men are earthy and sensual, but also brainy and require the spark of a strong mental connection to really flourish sexually.

For really good sex, you’ll want to establish a mental connection outside of the bedroom first. And then you can continue to build on it during sex.

Here are some ways to build on your mental connection during sex:

  • Communicate your sensations and pleasure. Virgo is highly sensitive to your satisfaction in bed. He will be tuned in to how you’re responding every second. So don’t be afraid to emote your experience through sounds, movements, and talk (even if he’s a little quiet himself). Being verbal is a turn on for him and helps him to loosen up and get the juices flowing.
  • Don’t be embarrassed to tell him what you like and want. He loves to figure everything out about his partner. So tell him what techniques and positions you prefer, as well as anything new that you’d like to explore. Be descriptive. This will excite his mind. Better yet, start discussing your sexual desires, in detail, beforehand. He likes the build-up.

Related: How to Get a Virgo Man to Chase You Endlessly

6. He likes to make love in the true sense

To the Virgo guy, sex is about much more than lust and primal sexual conquest.

He’s more reserved and intentional about the act. He likes sex to be meaningful and erotic in a balanced way. He likes tender, earthy touch. He’ll tune in to you and really pay attention to your needs.

He has attentive, nurturing sexual energy that’s relaxed and patient. He may want to help you heal any traumas you’ve experienced. Tantric practices might appeal to him. He loves to create a safe space that can help his partner work through painful experiences.

This doesn’t mean he won’t enjoy fierce, passionate sex at times. But it does mean that he will be more balanced in his approach to lust.

Related: 7 Signs a Virgo Man is Serious About Your Relationship

7. He’s great with his hands and mouth

Virgo is ruled by Mercury, and Mercury rules the hands and mouth. He’s particularly dextrous with his hands and intuitively knows what techniques to get you off. And he’s great at massages in general. He’s highly skilled with oral, too, unlike many men.

As long as you’ve attended to your personal hygiene well, expect some really good times if you like to receive manual forms of stimulation.

Related: 5 Signs a Virgo Man is Jealous (Plus How to Make Him Jealous)

8. His kinky proclivities

Virgo men tend to be sexually reserved, yet will occasionally flash intense bouts of animalistic passion.

He tends to be far kinkier with a short-term partner and places his long-term lover in the more “pure, virginal” role.

There’s always some grey area in this, but as a general rule, if you want to attract him to a long-term relationship, try to enhance your more “sexually pure” side, even establishing an air of angelic reserve, rather than diving straight into your most intense fetishes. (Though it is still a good idea (perhaps, essential) to suggest some fun and novel sexual ideas to introduce at least some fantasy).

Virgo men are often spiritual, so a fun way to introduce some alternative style of sexual play into the Virgo bedroom could be to introduce Tantric our Taoist sexual techniques.

You might enjoy playing with some control dynamics in the bedroom together. Virgo’s are such control freaks in life that at least some element of control will likely enter his bedroom. He’s not big into domination like a Scorpio, Aries, or Capricorn might be, but he might still like to act out a little bit of sexual sadism and control at times.

Conversely, many Virgo men desire to release their relentless controlling nature while in bed by losing it through surrender. So don’t be too surprised if he asks you to play the dominatrix role on occasion.

Remember that conversation is essential for the Virgo guy when it comes to sex. Talking is an aphrodisiac for him, and it’s a helpful tool to learn what you both want in bed. So communicate your wants and desires.

Related: How to Text a Virgo Man Like an Expert (Keep Him Interested)

9. Trust will be key to good, intimate sex

To have really good sex with a Virgo, he needs to trust you. The greater his level of trust with you, the closer he’ll feel to you. This will mostly happen organically by spending time together.

He needs this trust because he’s so reserved emotionally and because of his self-critical nature. He worries about being hurt or taken advantage of emotionally, and the potential harm to his sense of self if that were to happen.

With a firm sense of trust in your relationship, you’ll be able to push his self-protective comfort zone open enough to access his heart and bond you two together.

Related: Who is Virgo’s Soulmate Sign?


There you have it – nine tips for navigating a sexual relationship with the Virgo man.

There are, of course, more things to consider in a romantic and sexual relationship with a Virgo man. I cover this man in considerable length in my how to attract a Virgo man course.

What are your sexual experiences with Virgo men like? Any tips you’d like to add to this list? Let us know in the comment section below.

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Loren Elara

Hi, I’m Loren. Welcome to Popular Astrology. You can learn more about me and this website here.

10 thoughts on “7 Key Things to Know About the Virgo Man in Bed”

  1. I’m a Gemini female and this Virgo male and I hit it off and developed a bond with friendship at the forefront, mind you this was over just a two week span; this quickly developed into him flirting lightly and then kissed me goodbye one evening. What a kiss!!! 😍 A few nights later he came over for a chat and massages happened and he completely surprised me with the most sensual sex I’ve ever had. He stayed over and we again had sex in the morning but it was less sensual yet just as incredible-how amazing!!! A couple hours after he left my home he posted how wonderful it was to be single and not tied down! 😞 Me being me, I HAD to bring it up and say something as I will not allow myself to be on an emotional roller coaster – I was hurt by this and he replied as if it wasn’t a big deal and did not express anything at all. He acknowledged the emotions I shared with him and told me to have a good night with a smiley face. Needless to say, I have not heard from him. He’s under stress about other things, I understand the retreating phase but what the heck should I do if he contacts me? Just stand my ground and forgive him to keep as a friend? I want so much more from him but I’m not willing to be played like an instrument; is this typical behavior of a virgo man?!

    1. Ouch, I’m sorry about that! I would say that’s typical behavior of a man who’s a bit self-absorbed and disrespectful. Not a uniquely Virgo quality, by any means. I would definitely make sure he earns your good graces again after being so flippant with you! Otherwise, you’re better off holding out for a guy who shows more tact.

    2. Aweeee sorry to hear! I would definitely encourage you not to keep in touch, definitely seems like it would be casual for him and you would be getting very hurt 🥺. Is better to stay away and look for a guy that is interested in you not an immature ghoster, an advice from a taurus lady that already had experiences with virgos, don’t get played dear, you’re much more than that 💚💚💚 even if you would like more from him is better to let go, you’ll get someone more attentive, there are virgos to virgos some can be freaky hoes (excuse my french 👉👈) and other can go for the big deal, commitment and serious relationships.

      1. Hi, i am 70 yrs old married to 80 yr old virgo unfortunately he is impotent but takes extra time to pleasure me and am content with that,, but he enjoys oral sex, sometimes

    3. YES!!! 100% how they are. But it is possible to make a change. Make them love you, 100% cherish you, become his one and only desire! It is possible and I did it!!! I am with a Virgo Man 10x worse than that. I had to do a lot of work and pushing -it was HELL to go through. I Honestly couldn’t handle it, I had many mental breakdowns and panic attacks leaving me in the hospital. I lived a bad lifestyle, mentally torching myself knowing he was around other girls and trying to sleep with other woman. I was at battle with myself, I struggled to keep my sanity which I lost. I know I was strong enough, but I kept trying, I believed in my heart it was right. Two questions to ask yourself. 1) Do I honestly see a future, him has a husband, and life long partner? 2) Is it going to be worth the work and can I handle it.?
      I don’t want to bore the comment section with my whole story but I sure do want to share my experience with you!
      Please chat with me, I’d love to help. My email is- [email protected]

  2. You slept with him too fast…it wasn’t yet friendship and he needed to chase you. If he wasn’t willing to do it, it wasn’t worth it to him. I have been emailing with a handsome successful Virgo for 10 months I met on Tinder. w
    We’ve exchanged photos and phone calls and I’ve written him long depthful emails and he has responded every time with tons of questions and answered all of mine. Sometimes I waited 3 weeks to reply. He is a spiritual man and complains women want to take their clothes off without waiting to get to know him. We are going to meet next week….finally. He has told me not to be surprised if he tells me he loves me. He loves constant communication and is honest and analytical..loves a strong, witty, smart hard working woman ….all I am. He constantly thanks me for not rushing our relationship. He talks of a future together and says the sweetest and kind words. He’s exactly as a described Virgo …..and I won’t be taking my clothes off till I have a ring on my finger. I already know the sex will be amazing because of our bond due to the investment I’ve made…and what I’ve read here about Virgo ….and what you’ve said to confirm. That’s how you land a Virgo! You live and learn.

    1. how can I put it right, obviously I can’t un sleep with him, and he was the one who pushed for sex early on.

  3. Virgo male here. we are complicated creatures aren’t we? we have to be friends with our lovers first and communication is key. we like a lot of contact and responsive people. we can get impatient easily because of it. foreplay is everything to us. sex is just the cherry on top. we don’t like to be ignored by our loved one or we will be tempted to stray. massages are just the sensual thing to get us going and we will please you to the n’th degree… just don’t rush us. a few hours, ahem… ‘in session’ is quite normal to us. hygiene is very very important to us because we have such heightened senses… my gf thinks I’m the most attentive, incredible lover and now knows what a good relationship feels like. we have a lot of fun together.

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