Virgo is the sign of the virgin, but that doesn’t mean particularly chaste. On the surface, he will appear in sync with his virginal symbol – humble, pure, and restrained. Underneath, though, is a bubbling well of earthy sensual desire, waiting to be tapped into.
He is fundamentally unselfish in bed. He is a pleaser and wants his partner to feel as much pleasure as possible. Though he’s an earth sign, his sign also possesses a Mutable nature, which means he’s happy to try a variety of techniques and methods to ensure that his partner has a good time.
Here are some key things to know about this man in bed:
1. He can be a shy lover, especially early on in the relationship
Virgo men aren’t known to be that voracious and passionate between the sheets. His Earth sign nature makes him calm and hyper-mental nature means he’s in his head a lot. Some Virgo men can be near silent in bed.
What causes such a quiet reserve? For one, he’s an over-thinker and a perfectionist. So much of his mental concentration while having sex is spent fixated on how to perform well and be good for enough his partner. At the same time, he’s trying to let go and be relaxed as much as possible. This can create friction.
Since Virgo men can constantly worry if they’re doing the right thing in bed, he can struggle to open up and enjoy himself. He can fear the emotional vulnerability of sex, so if he doesn’t have a lot of comfort and trust with you, he may seem even more distant.
2. He’s focused on foreplay
As an Earth sign, Virgo is grounded in sensualism and appreciates the process of sex rather than a frantic race to the finish.
He’s a caretaker by nature and will take his sweet time with foreplay. He’ll patiently move across your body and open you up with his skillfully dextrous hands and mouth.
While his slow-moving sexual nature can make him appear unsure of himself to some, in reality, his protracted approach is a targeted technique to arouse you with care and attention.
3. He pays immaculate attention to the details
Virgo men are keenly aware of all the small details that go into an enjoyable sexual experience. He’ll plan every little detail to help ensure a pleasurable experience for him and his partner.
Expect him to set the mood with good food, massage tools, candles, aromatherapy, soft sheets, etc. He will keep on top of his personal hygiene (and expects you to, as well). He’ll also ensure the locale is spotlessly clean.
He’s a focused lover who’s intent on zeroing in on you and keeping the mood right throughout your experience. He will make sure that nothing intrudes on your sexual time together – with his phone silenced or turned off.
He’ll be tuned into your appearance and cleanliness, so be sure to bathe and take care before slipping between the sheets with him. If he’s at your place, be sure to have everything picked up, put away, and for your room to be clean in every way.
It can be nerve-wracking to have a Virgo man in your place of residence because they are so scrutinizing and picky about things. But do this right so he can drop his worrying mind and you’ll both be able to relax and enjoy yourselves.
4. Environment is of utmost importance to him
Yes – more on cleanliness and environment, because this is such an important element of Virgo’s sexual wellbeing.
Virgo men are such neat freaks that some of these guys literally can’t relax into a sexual mode if they’re surrounded by clutter, or even get a whiff of anything stale. Cleanliness is godliness to a Virgo man. And a lack of it is a huge-turn off.
To really satisfy him (and for him to satisfy you), you’ll have to wait until you have the opportunity to be in a cozy, uncluttered, unhurried environment. Typically safely confined between four walls.
Because of his particularness, don’t worry too much about introducing spontaneity into your sex life. He’s not big on PDA (he’s too modest and too much of a worrywart to enjoy heavy petting out in public places).
5. He prefers that sex be built on a strong mental connection
Virgo men are earthy and sensual, but also brainy and require the spark of a strong mental connection to really flourish sexually.
For really good sex, you’ll want to establish a mental connection outside of the bedroom first. And then you can continue to build on it during sex.
Here are some ways to build on your mental connection during sex:
- Communicate your sensations and pleasure. Virgo is highly sensitive to your satisfaction in bed. He will be tuned in to how you’re responding every second. So don’t be afraid to emote your experience through sounds, movements, and talk (even if he’s a little quiet himself). Being verbal is a turn on for him and helps him to loosen up and get the juices flowing.
- Don’t be embarrassed to tell him what you like and want. He loves to figure everything out about his partner. So tell him what techniques and positions you prefer, as well as anything new that you’d like to explore. Be descriptive. This will excite his mind. Better yet, start discussing your sexual desires, in detail, beforehand. He likes the build-up.
6. He likes to make love in the true sense
To the Virgo guy, sex is about much more than lust and primal sexual conquest.
He’s more reserved and intentional about the act. He likes sex to be meaningful and erotic in a balanced way. He likes tender, earthy touch. He’ll tune in to you and really pay attention to your needs.
He has attentive, nurturing sexual energy that’s relaxed and patient. He may want to help you heal any traumas you’ve experienced. Tantric practices might appeal to him. He loves to create a safe space that can help his partner work through painful experiences.
This doesn’t mean he won’t enjoy fierce, passionate sex at times. But it does mean that he will be more balanced in his approach to lust.
7. He’s great with his hands and mouth
Virgo is ruled by Mercury, and Mercury rules the hands and mouth. He’s particularly dextrous with his hands and intuitively knows what techniques to get you off. And he’s great at massages in general. He’s highly skilled with oral, too, unlike many men.
As long as you’ve attended to your personal hygiene well, expect some really good times if you like to receive manual forms of stimulation.
8. His kinky proclivities
Virgo men tend to be sexually reserved, yet will occasionally flash intense bouts of animalistic passion.
He tends to be far kinkier with a short-term partner and place his long-term lover in the more “pure, virginal” role.
There’s always some grey area in this, but as a general rule, if you want to attract him to a long-term relationship, try to enhance your more “sexually pure” side, even establishing an air of angelic reserve, rather than diving straight into your most intense fetishes. (Though it is still a good idea (perhaps, essential) to suggest some fun and novel sexual ideas to introduce at least some fantasy).
Virgo men are often spiritual, so a fun way to introduce some alternative style of sexual play into the Virgo bedroom could be to introduce Tantric our Taoist sexual techniques.
You might enjoy playing with some control dynamics in the bedroom together. Virgo’s are such control freaks in life that at least some element of control will likely enter his bedroom. He’s not big into domination like a Scorpio, Aries, or Capricorn might be, but he might still like to act out a little bit of sexual sadism and control at times.
Conversely, many Virgo men desire to release their relentless controlling nature while in bed by losing it through surrender. So don’t be too surprised if he asks you to play the dominatrix role on occasion.
Remember that conversation is essential for the Virgo guy when it comes to sex. Talking is an aphrodisiac for him, and it’s a helpful tool to learn what you both want in bed. So communicate your wants and desires.
9. Trust will be key to good, intimate sex
To have really good sex with a Virgo, he needs to trust you. The greater his level of trust with you, the closer he’ll feel to you. This will mostly happen organically by spending time together.
He needs this trust because he’s so reserved emotionally and because of his self-critical nature. He worries about being hurt or taken advantage of emotionally, and the potential harm to his sense of self if that were to happen.
With a firm sense of trust in your relationship, you’ll be able to push his self-protective comfort zone open enough to access his heart and bond you two together.
There you have it – nine tips for navigating a sexual relationship with the Virgo man.
There are, of course, more things to consider in a romantic and sexual relationship with a Virgo man. I cover this man in considerable length in my how to attract a Virgo man course.
What are your sexual experiences with Virgo men like? Any tips you’d like to add to this list? Let us know in the comment section below.