Will an Aquarius Man Come Back after a Difficult Breakup?

Loren E. Elara

Loren E. Elara

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  • Sign: Aquarius
  • Dates: January 21 – February 19
  • Ruling planets: Uranus & Saturn
  • Planetary principle: Truth
  • Element: Air
  • Mode: Fixed
  • Qualities: Masculine, positive
  • Learn How to Attract an Aquarius Man Here

Do Aquarius guys ever come back after a breakup?

The short answer is: yes. Aquarian men will come back to a relationship when it suits them to.

Their hot and cold persona can have them changing their minds on a whim. (They’re also entirely capable of dropping a connection completely).

But, will your Aquarian guy come back to you?

That’s a bit more complicated. Let’s take a look and see what we can do to help you figure your situation out.

Related: The Ultimate Course: How to Attract an Aquarius Man

In this post I’ll cover:

  • Why your breakup happened (and why that matters)
  • Assessing whether it’s worth trying to get back with him
  • Some powerful tips to get him to come back to you (if you decide that’s what you want)

If your relationship is meant to be, you’ll find what you need here to get things back on track.

Alight, let’s get to it.

Related: The 5 Biggest Signs that an Aquarius Man isn’t into You

What went wrong to cause your breakup?

So things have fallen apart between you and your Aquarius man. That sucks.

No breakup is the same. And the circumstances are important when assessing whether he’ll come back to you or not.

  • Did he ghost you randomly?
  • Did you get into an argument and he shut down?
  • Were you wanting more commitment but he wasn’t ready?
  • Did he (or you) cheat or otherwise practice infidelity?

If it was a bad breakup, he’s probably gone. This can happen if you didn’t establish a potent connection with him.

Aquarian men are notorious for breaking things off and moving on with their life like nothing happened. They can be ice cold like that.

But his nature is also variable and he can switch back to hot suddenly. If you really are special to him he might eventually wander back as nothing happened. (So long as you don’t chase him away further… More on that later).

Related: 7 Powerful Tips to Make an Aquarian Man Miss You

If he does come back, will it be worth it? Are you even compatible?

I’ve got some great tips coming up for you in the next section. But before we rush into them, take a moment to consider if getting this Aqua guy back is the right choice for you, or if you’d be better off moving on.

Here’s a potentially harsh truth: if you weren’t really close or special to him, he’s likely gone for good. And that might be for the best. If you weren’t compatible, you weren’t compatible.

Secondly, if you aren’t highly compatible but he still comes back, you might not have a great time. You could end up dealing with a lot of hot and cold energy, and more disappearing acts.

I know you miss him. I know you’re probably thinking about him a lot and trying to figure out how to get back with him. But take the time to consider if he’s really the right guy for you.

Related: How to Get an Aquarius Man to Chase You Endlessly

Take into consideration what’s important for you. Put yourself first. For example, maybe he wasn’t ready to commit, but you wanted to, and it drove him away. If you want to find a partner who’s ready to commit to you, then that’s what you want. Don’t settle for less. If he’s not that guy, he’s not that guy.

Consider the possibility that you don’t need to get back with this guy. And that the breakup was actually an opportunity for you to grow and move on. If he was the type to put you down or keep you small, then you absolutely should find greener pastures.

At the same time, maybe he’s your soul mate. And this is just a rocky step in an otherwise fairytale partnership.

If that’s the case, read on and follow these five steps to help nudge him to come back to you:

Related: All about Ignoring an Aquarius Man (How, Why, When)

How to get your Aquarius man back

The Aquarius man does what he wants. He’s all about freedom and will go wherever his heart desires. Sometimes the whims of his heart tell him to disappear from the people in his life. And disappear he will. He’s the king of ghosting.

Call it what you will. Unsentimental, perhaps. But it’s the way he is.

It’s all good and fun when you’re hitting things off and spending time together. But not so much when he leaves you.

Getting him back is tricky. You can’t directly manipulate him. Freedom is an essential condition for his relationships. You have to lure him back in a way that makes him want to lean into you again, without pressuring him.

Related: 5 Easy Tips to Effortlessly Texting with an Aquarian Man

1. Give him the space he needs

The most likely scenario is that, whatever happened, he detached himself and shut himself off from you. Aquarius men cope with deeper emotional hurts by distancing themselves.

If he’s going to come back, it’ll be on his terms. You have to give him the space he needs.

You have to be willing to let him go to get him back.

Forcefully trying to get a disenchanted Aquarian man back with you is a recipe for failure. You instead have to be cool about the breakup. This relaxes him. Because the more you try to hold on, the more he’ll distance.

The absolute worst thing you could do is to argue with him or otherwise create drama. All of this feels like you’re pressuring him. Which he hates. He needs room to lean into you again. If you don’t give him that room, he will just push you farther away.

You can’t talk your way back into his arms. You have to let go. To get him space. And then show him that you should be together again through your actions.

Related: 5 Potent Ways to Make an Aquarian Man Obsessed with You

2. Show him that you’re okay without him

Aquarius men are hyper-individualistic and require partners who are independent as well.

One of the common reasons Aquarius men dip out of a relationship is that they want to feel free again. He might still like you but started to feel trapped by your relationship dynamic.

This may or may not be the scenario of your relationship, but regardless, showing him that you’re not desperate to get back with him will win you major points in his eyes.

Showing that you aren’t too shaken by being without him will raise your value in his eyes. It conveys that you’re self-sufficient. That you can handle being alone.

When he sees that you’re okay with being alone, that’s when he’ll feel like it’s safe to come back to you.

So don’t rush to talk to him about what went wrong and how to fix things. Especially when the breakup is fresh. 

Do your best to be unruffled by the breakup. Carry on with other aspects of your life. Do your best to genuinely collect and soothe yourself. You can’t really fake this. He’s got a strong truth radar and will likely know if you’re genuinely alright or faking to convince him.

The most effective way to get the message across to him is by not contacting him.

No calls, no texts, no talking, no contact.

Related: The 5 Best Sun Sign Matches for an Aquarian Man

3. Make him see what he’s missing

People break up because there’s something missing in the relationship.

If he broke up with you, there could be a few causes:

  1. He created flaws in the relationship
  2. You created flaws in the relationship
  3. Or, there was a combination of flaws instroduced by each of you

If the answer is number one, then good riddance to him. But more than likely, the answer will be the third option. And to get him back you’ll want to reassess and reinvent yourself a little bit.

No, this doesn’t mean you need to reactively change who you are so he’ll want to be with you again. Your response should be the opposite of losing yourself, it should be finding yourself.

Take this opportunity to assess where you are in life and how true you’ve been to yourself.

What did he love most about you when you were happy together? Did you change at all since those peak days? Did you get complacent? Focus on reestablishing those qualities and he’ll be reminded why he fell for you.

Take inventory of any other flaws in the relationship. If you couldn’t get passed certain disagreements, would it be worth it to you to change your stance? If your breakup reflected similar issues that you’ve had in other relationships, what is the lesson for you?

Be open, honest and ready to change things up if you want him to start things up with you again. He loves adventure, so maybe it’s time to go on a trip or excursion that you’ve always wanted to experience. Whatever it takes to feel more fulfilled and confident.

Remember, you should take a break from reaching out to him. But you can get him to see any changes you’re making by haunting his periphery a little bit via mutual social channels.

Related: 5 Clear Signs That an Aquarius Man Likes You

4. Increase your value by being desired by others

Most people lose touch with friends during and soon after a breakup, so there’s probably a big hole in your social life.

Aquarian men are highly social creatures. He’s probably going to reassert any friendships he’s neglected, and it would send a strong positive signal to him if you did the same.

Better still, start dating again.

I know, you want your Aqua man and he’s likely irreplaceable. But it’ll be healthy for you to feel wanted again, and it makes you more desirable and creates a little scarcity in his mind.

Your rebound-dating life doesn’t have to be serious. Just have some fun (if that’s something you’d enjoy, that is).

If you do date around after your breakup, make sure you’re not doing it just to make him jealous. Aquarian men are perceptive, and he’ll likely catch onto this and be repelled.

Related: 7 Essential Things to Know about Dating an Aquarius Man

Conclusion

If you do start talking to your Aquarian guy again, don’t bring up commitment. Just focus on making your conversation light, enjoyable, and flirtatious again.

Don’t talk about the future, just be in the moment and have fun.

Being confident in the moment makes you come across as confident about your own future, which will make him want to be a part of it again.

Learn More About Aquarius Man Love Compatibilities…

17 thoughts on “Will an Aquarius Man Come Back after a Difficult Breakup?”

  1. Avatar

    I was dating an Aquarius man for over 7 months, during the first 5 months things were great until I started bringing up commitment..
    Every-time commitment was brought up he would push me away, i do understand that financially he wasn’t capable and maybe he was looking for a similar spark he had with someone in the past. But I was very open and honest telling him that I can wait for the next few years to see how it goes.

    At the end, I requested for the mothers to meet however he straight away shut it down and said he isn’t ready for any commitment because of finances and other family responsibilities.. So it ended in a emotional breakup from both ends.

    Its been a 3 weeks now and Im okay without him, however I do feel that the compatibility we had was special and would like to keep him around for the future without making him feel pressured.

    Would like to know, how I should be doing this… we dont have any contact via social media so Im completely blocked out ..

    Any pointers…?

    1. Loren Elara

      Hi Rose. Sorry that the relationship hasn’t gone as planned. At this point, you should wait to have contact again. He felt pressured and likely needs time and space.

  2. Avatar

    Hello, so my aqua man left almost a week ago (we’ve been together 2 years) he came to live with me together to my country but after we had 6 months of distance because of the virus and all that I felt like he was violating my private space and we had big arguments over the house stuff, he finished with 1st in his uni and he didn’t know what he was doing in general, so I saw him really confused and I ask him if we should try together or he needs to go back home and think… when I came home he wrote me 3 pages on his computer how he really felt but he just couldnt put the words together… he thinks I’m his dream girl in a wrong time that he trully loves me but he’s life is in UK he’s work and big opportunities is in UK, I can’t leave from my place as I have already my business and my place and most importantly my father that I can’t leave him on my own… he really asked me to stay for 1 week more I said to him no it has to be done if hes really going back.. He went back the first day he arrived their I was really upset I strarted crying a lot.. second day we talked a little bit.. in general he said he wants to focus on himself and that he wants to find himself and be on his own. he asked me the second day 3 times how i am. I said to me I’m okay but the third time I just told him not to worry about me if his okay I’m okay, I asked him to send me onlyy if he really misses me.. I got him also a gift he received it the next day he really appreciated and sent me a message. on the next day we didnt talk and on the next one I sent him hows he’s doing we started in general a conversation he still want to be left alone he haven’t decided what he still wants, but he told me it hurts him but at the same time he says that this wont work, especially the distance releationship, I told him I’m willing to sacrifice some stuff for him but we both need to sacrifice something to be together. I’m being understanding to him I really try, but it fucks with my mind. I don’t know if he will come back again. I’m giving hes space that he needs to take, I’m showing that I’m okay and he hasn’t deleted yet our pictures from social media. But in general I don’t know..

  3. Avatar

    Hi there, just wanted some insight on my story.

    So much like others my relationship with my Aquairus man came on hot and heavy. He had to have me as his girlfriend and would do absolutely everything for me. We messaged constantly and he always calls. I had just come out of a long time relationship so I wasn’t looking for anything too serious but I quickly fell in love with him.

    Anyway 8 months down the track and he has become distant. We live about 1.5 hours away from each other and I told him that the distance was becoming difficult for me. Once I said that he started to back off. Not acting as sweet as he usually is. The last time we were together he wasn’t acting himself and he said he wanted to be on his own so I took that as an end to the relationship.

    Since then he has messaged me everyday telling me he will always be here for me and that he is thinking of me. I try my hardest not to reply to give him the space he’s asked for. When we speak he sounds different and he sounds sincere when he says he still cares for me.

    I guess really I want to know if he will come back to me. If we will work it out. My life is not the same without him now. I miss being able to tell him about my day and hearing about his.

    Let me know your thoughts thanks, much appreciated. Love a Pisces woman

    1. Loren Elara

      Hi Chloe. It seems like he’s sending mixed signals. I would feel confused, too! That’s good that you’ve made it clear that the distance wasn’t working well for you. Him backing away after you said that is telling. It appears that he’s withdrawing, which he clued into when he said he wanted to be on his own.

      He’s still messaging you every day, though. I wonder if it’s because he really does care for you and misses you, and has just been emotionally closed off due to his issues. Or if he’s actually wanted to move on, but still wants you to feel taken care of.

      I would say that I’m not confident that he will come back. I would continue giving him space, and if it’s right, he will come back around to you. In the meantime, work on yourself and be open to new relationships coming into your life

      -Loren

  4. Avatar

    I met my Aquarius man online. He was full on interested in me. Texting chatting every day for 3 weeks straight. Even sent me a phone. Had a great weekend together then he went back to work/home and I didn’t hear from him.
    I’ve put him off with my texting.
    I’m not embarrased because i was honest and it was how I was feeling.
    I’ve stopped all contact.
    What are my chances of him missing me?

    1. Loren Elara

      Hey Jessica. If the chemistry was good and he really enjoyed his time/chatting with you, then there’s a good chance that he could miss you and come back around. It’s good that you stopped all contact, definitely the best chance to get him missing you.

  5. Avatar

    My aquarius and I dated 8 months. He and I knew each other since childhood but never did really interact on a personal level until this year. He and I got really close and started a relationship, at his urging. Things are moving along great; we love each other, he shares his dreams and ambitions with me, he talked about our future etc. He has a business that he is running and trying to expand which takes a lot of his time; I was always supportive and understood he needs space and time to do his thing and have his me time. I think I can understand because I also am ambitious as well. I never tried to make him feel guilty or anything for his dreams, even told him I believe in him, which I do. A couple weeks ago, he started being distant. He went from talking to me multiple times a day to being quiet. We did have a fight but we got over it and I felt this distance was something else. I finally just asked what is going on. He said he loves me but feels like he doesn’t have the time like he would like to have to make me as happy as he wants me to be. I told him that I really think balance is needed and I wish we could make it work. He agreed and wished the same; then he said that maybe our relationship can work later in life and to remember that he loves me.
    I feel like he is not good with balancing his personal and professional life; for instance, when he is giving me a lot of attention, time etc, he is not doing what he needs to do with his business. He has told me things like, he thinks about me all the time and can’t get me out of his mind. Does this mean he feels he has to distance himself from me because of this? It has been a week since the break up and I have not spoken with him since. Does this situation sound like one where he will come back? I feel like our relationship is worth working through but I also understand that we both have to want the same thing.

    1. Loren Elara

      Sorry for your relationship challenges. His comments about not having enough time to make you happy may be genuine but could also be a way to let you down easy if he’s lost some interest. If he’s truly not great at managing both a personal and professional life, then he might indeed be pushing away to focus on his work. Ultimately, time will tell. I would wait and see if he comes back around. If he’s truly wanting to have a future with you, he will re-engage with you when his work life calms down some.

  6. Avatar

    I got introduced to my aqua man through friends over 2yrs ago. We hit it off immediately, and started spending some time together. He was loving and attentive. Then, his ex showed up, about 6wks after we started dating. We’d been talking for about a month before we went on a date, his relationship with his ex had finished 6mths before, but it was a long term thing for them, so I bowed out and told him to go to her. For 8mths he yo-yo’d between us both until I cut it off completely. I got on with my life, and shockingly he reached out to me 10mths after I walked away. We had a few awkward convos about what happened, and that neither of us wanted it to end like that. He expressed he regretted letting me go, had thought about me a lot since we hadn’t spoke, he was fully done with his ex and would like to try again with me. I told him I couldn’t promise that I could let him in again, but he persevered for 3mths until I agreed to go on a date. For 4mths it’s been amazing, I could not fault him. Until one day, I heard nothing from him… Odd because we’d spoke everyday for the past 7mths, I casually checked in on him, and he advised he’d call me later, he didn’t. Two weeks of missing each other’s calls, and hella anxiety over what was going on, we eventually spoke on the phone. He’s told me he’s been off sick from work with stress, I told him of my concerns of how everything went down before, and that he was acting in similar ways. He has said he has nothing to hide from me, that this isn’t the case at all. I reassured him I’m there for him, and have given him some space. I’ve contacted him once or twice, over the past three weeks, asking about his return to work, letting him know what I’ve been up to etc and kept it light with him. He replies every couple of days. He’s changed his number in the past two weeks, which he gave me as soon as he bought the sim, because ‘there was too much attached to that old number, and I need to clear it out’ What is going on in his head? Has his ex rocked the boat again? Or is it just my insecurity because it’s happened before that’s plaguing my mind? Any insight or advice would be appreciated 🙂

    1. Loren Elara

      Hi, Paige. I don’t think it’s just your insecurities here. I think something is likely up with him more than just work stress. If he keeps acting like this, I would do what you (smartly) did the first time he started getting flakey, and withdraw a bit and focus on other aspects of your life. He isn’t showing enough consistency or reliability to warrant more from you. What makes it worse is the lack of clarity. So give him a chance to straighten things up with you, but don’t rely on it.

  7. Avatar

    Hi, I’ve been dating my Aquarius boyfriend for over 3 years. We have been in a long distance relationship since the beginning (different coasts). He is also 3 years younger than me. We’ve flown several times to see each other. For us, things go well when we’re together in person. When we’re apart it’s harder because I think we both miss being in person. We have broken up briefly in the past but eventually got back together; it was mostly me messaging him a lot. He wanted space and I wasn’t able to give because it’s hard when we’re already so far. Things went pretty good after the break up; I had moved closer to him and we were seeing each other a lot. I had to leave due to Covid to come back to my hometown. We talk about living together and getting married eventually. And I’ve been hoping he will move closer to me this time. I neglected him one night when he needed me due to being preoccupied with my own issues. It was not his fault but I still ended up being unhappy with him. It happened several weeks ago but this week he said he doesn’t feel happy about how things are going and that he is still hurt from that night. I’m confused as to how he can still be hurt from something that happened so long ago, after I apologized so much and explained everything. I regret what I did so much. He says he needs time to feel better on his own and think things through. I am trying to give him space this time but still am unable to completely stop messaging because I’m afraid he’ll move on especially since I’m not even close to him. Is there any chance of him coming back if I do give him space?

    1. Loren Elara

      Hi, Anna. His still holding on to the hurt from that one night is a sign that he’s looking for reasons to create more space. You’ll have to give him space he’s asking for. There’s definitely a chance he’ll come back, but you’ll want to give him space to improve the chances that he will. Leaning in anxiously to try to stop him from moving on might just do the opposite. And if he doesn’t come back, then you should look for someone who’s more excited to be with you. You deserve that more.

  8. Avatar

    Why is it even acceptable for him to be like this at all?

    Is Aqua the most sexist, misogynist sign there is? Blowing hot and cold whenever he pleases? And being okay with it as it is in his “astrological nature”??? Oh he’s an Aquarius, never mind – They’re like that.

    Sounds like all the fathers no one wishes they grew up with! An almost non-existent, shallow – non-committal.

    Maybe Aquarius are not real men – As in strong men. They sound like weak, shallow men – The players of the zodiac.

    I don’t know – I am a Gemini – and he is making me angry! I am not allowed to have an opinion on things on the tv. He disagrees, so don’t hear from him in ages….. Seriously – Will this be his fathering style? Every website says we’re soulmates? Or are Gems doomed with an Aqua? God, give me a heartfelt Cancerian or Scorpio man any day – Haha – With no Aquarius in their birth chart, lol…!

    1. Loren Elara

      If he doesn’t allow you to have opinions about things on TV and becomes cold if you do, that’s particularly low-vibe. I’d reconsider things with him to be honest! But of course, I would need to know more before I actually gave thorough advice.

  9. Avatar

    I have been dating an aqua man for 5 months now.I have known him since childhood but not too close.at first he showed some interest in me, telling me how much he have been wanting to have me but he didn’t have the courage.i always got mixed feelings bcoz he likes to spend more time by himself.we would talk but not Soo often,maybe becoz he was busy with his political career and it was stress ful at times,I tried to understand that.then he just disappear all of a sudden without a goodbye for 2weeks.i didn’t try to reach him or anything it was like a red flag for me.one day he met one of my cousin and asked her to send greetings to me.then he showed up again trying to explain to me that he got caught up and just needed some time alone but it sucks becoz he didn’t say nothing so he didn’t know how to get back to me and that took days trying to gain confidence ,he said he was afraid I would just shut him out.then he promised to change and he did change ,texting and calling when he gets some time.he always insisted me to stay and try to understand him and that things will get better soon.one day on a blue he just called me late at night which is unusual talking to me for 2hrs just opening up more and being committed in the relationship I really didn’t expect that.i must say he tried to make time for me but he was way too busy with his carree,whenever I asked him to take a break and focus on himself he would refuse,and asking me to just hang on and that whatever he is working for it’s for us to have a better future and that he wanna have me in his life. but his busy is so extra that it’s giving me dought now I took the break and he told me that it’s ok if I need one to just take care of my self but he never needed one he tried to ask how long but I wasn’t specific,the thing is I cannot predict him he says this but does the other and he would never wanna let go of me he asked if wanted to meet his mom but I wasn’t ready,now I don’t even know if he is going to miss me or not. He cannot remember my birthday but he is delight and happy to know that I remember his and felt worst for not remembering mine asking me to change him into a better man he is ready that he just wanna be the best boyfriend, I wanna surprise him on his birthday and get back together with him coz I think we are ganna work things out ,I gave him this break to see if he could miss me and feel my absence it’s hard coz he always keeps his feelings hidden,even when he is jelous or I offended him he would just ignore me and walk away not trying to talk about it even though he is mad at me he won’t admit it,but I always try to give reassurance

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