When it comes to texting a Cancer woman to build her attraction, there’s a lot you can do right and even more ways you can mess up.
Cancer women are very subtle and a bit psychic with their communication. They can sense your emotional state through text messages easier than you might think.
Displaying just a little bit of neediness or a lack of confidence when texting her can be all it takes for her to lose interest in texting you or put you in the friendzone.
In this post, you’ll learn how to avoid the mistakes that make her stop responding and do the right things text-wise that will make you stand out from other men.
So read on to learn how to excite her through text and be the guy that she actually wants to go out with, not the guy she uses for attention, ghosts, or flakes on.
Let’s get to it.
Table of Contents
- 1. Use texting primarily to move the relationship along
- 2. Don’t text with her constantly throughout the day
- 3. Be warm and communicative but not needy
- 4. Don’t feel in a rush to text back to her
- 5. Add variance to your texts with voice memos and video messages
- Bonus tip: Don’t be constantly using gifs and emojis
1. Use texting primarily to move the relationship along
Cancer women are drawn to men who that initiative in courtship.
When texting with her, you want to keep things simple and get to the point of setting in-person dates quickly. Yes, the phone should be primarily used to set up dates.
Cancer women are most comfortable around men who make their intentions clear and don’t beat around the bush. The longer it takes you to set a date, the lower her attraction will be.
You do NOT want to be the guy who texts her for two weeks before asking her out. Do that, and you’ll get slotted into the “friend-zoned texting buddy” category really quick.
If you do that, she’ll think: “he’s gonna play this friend route to get me attached before he asks me out.” And that makes you look weak like you feel like you need to get her to like you before you even ask her to go out with you. It shows a lack of confidence.
So make your intentions clear. Don’t be timid about telling her what you want. Not that you want sex or anything. That doesn’t need to be mentioned. But be clear about declaring your intention to go out with her.
Every time you talk to her, you want it to be for a purpose. For example, if you match with a Cancer woman on a dating app:
- Ask for her number.
- Text her from your number to ask for a facetime call so you can verify she’s legit.
- Set a date with her on the call.
When setting the date, try not to ask her, “when are you free” or “when can I see you.” Instead, give her your availability. Say something like: “I’m free on this day. Does that work for you? If that doesn’t work, I’m free this next day.”
It comes off more dominant (and sexually appealing) to set the frame by giving her your availability instead of asking when you can see her.
2. Don’t text with her constantly throughout the day
When messaging with a Cancer woman, it’s helpful to text as little as possible to create more mystery.
Her attraction for you grows in the space between chatting. The absence of communication builds uncertainty and mystery. It also creates sexual tension.
So avoid trying to flirt with her through text to build her attraction. Save that flirtation material for in-person.
Check-in sometimes. You don’t want to be cold by only texting to set dates. But don’t try to impress her or build her interest by engaging in deep texting conversations. You might think it helps to text her a bunch of deep conversational material to show your intelligence, but it doesn’t
Texting her every day, every hour, trying to check in on her, etc., just comes across like you’re applying pressure to make her like you. And Cancer women don’t like this.
These women want to be with a man they see as above them—a catch.
If you’re texting her throughout the day, always initiating conversation, it makes you look basic and like you don’t have much going on. Like you’re afraid you have to keep her attention because you don’t have a lot of options and fear losing her.
You being too available to make her like you never works.
Instead, practice intermittent texting. Ideally, you actually want to be busy leading a full life (she’ll find that attractive). Behave like your time is valuable and that you don’t have the time to just drop what you’re doing to text with her.
This will excite her, and she’ll value the time she gets to have with you when you meet up.
Once she gets into you more, she’ll start to text you more that she misses you. This is what you want, her initiating conversation to fill the gap because she misses you. You want her chasing you, not the other way around. When she texts you like this, just say, “I’ve been thinking about you too, you should come over, and we can share a bottle of wine.”
This is a perfect example of using the phone to set dates.
Related: Which Zodiac Sign is the Nicest?
3. Be warm and communicative but not needy
When you text with a Cancer woman, you don’t want to come on too strong like you’re overly eager or trying to convince her to like you.
She’ll reflexively back away if you come on super strong and eager. Women want a guy who’s a catch, not a guy who’s chasing her.
If you’re overly excited to be texting with her, it makes her think that you don’t get to talk with women often and are putting too much emotion into potentially getting with her. It’s not attractive.
Don’t text her things like:
- Good morning gorgeous
- I’ve been thinking about you all day
- You’re so beautiful
- I miss you so much
- I can’t wait to see you
- What outfit are you wearing right now
These texts clearly show that you’re losing your cool over her and pedestalizing her beauty.
Cancer women want to pedestalize the men they’re into, and they’ll quickly lose interest if the tables are turned.
Instead, text her like this:
- Ask her how she’s doing/how her day’s been
- Tease her lightly and playfully with an inside joke
- Show her your personality by sharing something you’ve been up to that’s entertaining
These messages show that you’re thinking about her, but they don’t come across as overly flattering and approval-seeking.
Remember, Cancer women can quickly tell how much you want them through text. It may seem counterintuitive, but if you’re really into her, you want to try your best to keep your interest a mystery.
If she knows that you’re super into her by your text content and frequency. All of the spark of her trying to figure you out will dissipate. There won’t be any more mystery. You’ll just look like another guy that’s thirsting after her in her inbox.
When building attraction with a Cancer woman, you always want her to think she likes you more than you like her.
So be patient. Don’t text too often, and when you do, keep it light and non-needy. You don’t want to be too cold or frigid. Show interest. Ask questions and follow up questions. But do so in a cordial and laid-back manner.
Never double text. Wait for her to get back to you. If she doesn’t, move on. Also, never display anxiety if she’s slow to get back to your texts.
4. Don’t feel in a rush to text back to her
To keep her attraction for you growing, take your time to respond to her texts.
You don’t have to wait a day or hours to get back to her. Waiting for 30 minutes, or even 10-5 minutes, works.
You just don’t want to be literally texting her as she’s sending you messages.
If you text her back fast, she’ll take longer to text back between messages. You might have noticed this happen before.
You want to be spontaneous when reaching out. Not predictable when you’re going to hit her up. Text one day, then don’t for a couple. Maybe text for two days in a row, then nothing for a week. Mix it up.
You would think that a woman would be most excited to talk to a guy that’s available for her and making time for her. But if you respond immediately, the subtext says, “yeah, I’m available; I don’t have much going on outside of you.” It’s not a good look.
The caveat is if your text conversation is time-sensitive. If she’s hitting you up because she’s arrived to meet you, being prompt in your response displays competence and preparedness, which Cancer women like.
5. Add variance to your texts with voice memos and video messages
To really get your Cancer woman glued to her phone when you message, mix up your message format.
Most guys just stick to straightforward texting exchanges. But Cancer women get bored with this.
You want to use voice and video texts to stand out and get her more intimately connected to you.
It will surprise her in the best way. It engages her senses and lets your voice and face take up space in her mind. It also makes her feel more comfortable like she can imagine talking to you in person. And Cancer women thrive off of feelings of familiarity.
Again, mix things up, so she doesn’t know what’s coming. Is he going to send me a text, voice, or video? Varying your message type like this is way more stimulating and amps up your novelty in her mind.
Related: Which Zodiac Sign is the Smartest?
Bonus tip: Don’t be constantly using gifs and emojis
If you want to attract a Cancer woman, don’t fill your text messages with lols, exclamations, or emojis.
If you do, there’s a high chance she’ll put you in the friendzone because the conversation flow feels feminine and friendly to her, not exciting and sexual.
You always want to carry yourself in a masculine way, both in person and in text. Masculine energy makes her feel safe and want to submit. It gets her excited.
Of course, you don’t want to come across as cold or overly reserved in your texting. But you want to text in a way that creates a polarity between your masculine energy and her feminine energy. That polarity is what drives her sexual interest and excitement.
You want her to take you seriously. You want mystery. You want her to wonder about you a bit. Remember, women’s interest and attraction grow when they’re unsure where they stand with you.
Most guys are jokey and super friendly, which doesn’t excite her. If you remain cool, calm, and straightforward in your communication, you keep her on her toes. This makes her look at you more seriously. She can’t easily read you and doesn’t know what to expect next.
Be super goofy, and she’ll class you as her friend or buddy. You won’t be setting yourself up as a romantic option that she’ll take seriously in person.
Related: Which Zodiac Sign is the Strongest?
Now you know how to text a Cancer woman simply and straightforwardly in a way that will build her attraction.
Remember, don’t text her too much. You shouldn’t be using text to get to know a Cancer woman. You use it to check in and set up in-person dates.
Never overreact if she’s not getting back to you quickly. She could be busy, assuming you’re busy or testing your resolve. Also, some women prefer in-person interactions and don’t value texting/phone communication. If you get upset when she’s slow to respond, she’ll immediately feel like rejecting you.