The Scorpio Man: Everything you’ve Wanted to Know

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Loren Elara

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Scorpio Male Traits

He’s intense. If there’s a personality trait that defines Scorpio, this is it. His intense nature can be seen in his eyes and in his transfixing stare. His eyes are the most penetrating of the zodiac. When trying to figure out if someone is a Scorpio, hold your gaze with theirs. A Scorpio can’t help but give himself away. His eyes will always reveal him.

He’s passionate. Scorpio lives and breathes passion. It’s also one of his most defining characteristics. If something or someone does not evoke a passionate response from him then he’s not interested. He is black and white like this. He despises middling around and half-heartedness. He’s either in or he’s out. There are no grey areas for Scorpio.

He’s an enigma. Scorpio has a magnetic presence and a complexity that’s hard to describe in words. He’s certainly the most mysterious sign of the Zodiac. Thus painting an adequate picture of him becomes difficult. So much of his internal life exists in the dimensions that our surface-level culture rarely touches on. It’s even tricky for other Scorpios to understand him, and that’s saying something.

He’s ambitious. All Scorpios share a sense that their life is important and that they’re here to make an impact on the world. He needs his life to matter, and to feel fulfilled he must be constantly growing to new and greater heights. Scorpio is a savvy businessman and social climber. He knows how to get to the top of any group or organization (the only other sign who might beat him there is Capricorn.)

He’s misunderstood. Scorpio stands out while simultaneously keeping things pretty much under wraps. It’s hard to describe a Scorpio and even the common things he is known for are often misinterpretations. Because of this people can project all kinds of things onto him. That he’s bad, or evil, or twisted. For example, there’s a lot of talk about Scorpio’s sexuality. It’s probably the first thing people mention when they discuss the sign. Yet the interpretations of his sexual nature are typically misunderstandings based on simplified generalizations (more on Scorpio sexuality later).

He’s hyper-sensitive. Scorpio is highly emotional to the world around him. He has a soft emotional core and senses everything that goes on with the people around him. He will rarely show how sensitive he is, though, But don’t let that fool you. He is perhaps the most emotionally sensitive and perceptive sign of the zodiac.

He’s wise. Scorpio has an innate grasp of the mundane aspects of human life. He understands people’s natures and knows the inner workings of society. He also knows spirituality and can grow a great deal in this life on that sort of path. If you ever have an important question or decision to make, seek out Scorpio to get the answers you seek.

He’s protective. Scorpio is fiercely protective of the people he cares about. He doesn’t let too many people get close to him, but once someone is in his inner circle he will do everything he can to take care of them.

Related: 9 Clear Signs a Scorpio Man Likes You

He’s confident. He knows who he is and who he isn’t, and because of this can easily let criticism roll off his back. He is generally unaffected by compliments and will simply nod in agreement when given one. He can have an ego, but he’s not a big showboat. And it doesn’t mean he’s without doubts, he definitely is, but they’re typically of a more existential nature.

He’s self-aware. Scorpio is hyper-aware of himself and the interactions he has with other people. And he can’t help but analyze every interaction and how his actions come off to others. Even when he is acting out of alignment or in self-sabotaging ways he maintains a general self-awareness. So even when he’s acting mindlessly, he’s self-aware of it.

He’s creative. And he always leaves a mark on people and things that he touches. He’s guided by a potent emotional nature which is deep and full of dimension. He knows how to tap into both the destructive and constructive energies of human nature and bring them to life. This allows him to churn out great artwork that touches people in a deep way.

He’s curious. Scorpio wants to understand the hidden nature of everything in life and everything around him, especially the inner workings of other people. This trait is related to his need to be in control of his surroundings. To feel safe in life he needs to feel like he knows what’s going on around him. He is very perceptiveness and has strong abilities as a researcher, which can make him a great detective. He is a master at asking questions that are both direct and penetrating. He rarely takes others’ answers at face value, however, and comes to his own conclusions. He will obsess about something until he knows everything there is to know about it, leaving no stone left unturned. Overall these traits help him succeed in life, but they can also get him into trouble sometimes. If he finds himself fixated on something that’s unhealthy, he can let it overwhelm and consume him.

He never forgets a slight against him. Scorpio needs to to be able to trust someone if he’s going to let them in. Thus he will never forget a time when he was wronged by somebody. He may forgive, but he won’t forget.

He can be self-destructive. When hurt or unhappy a Scorpio may resort to self-sabotage in an attempt to self-soothe his pain. Think of a wounded Scorpion that is backed into a corner. He has his stinger raised and ready to attack. If he doesn’t have a clear target and is racked with stress, he might just end up sinking that stinger right into his own back.

He is connected to death and spiritual realms. The supernatural, the occult, astrology, mystical things.. All these are in the realm of Scorpio. Scorpio is the sign of birth, death, and transformation after all. He is innately drawn to mystery and the unknown, which often turns him into a spiritual aspirant as he matures. He has an unrelenting desire to understand what is unknown. And what is the biggest unknown of all? Death, and the realms beyond our mundane existence.  He might not always be conscious of it, but dangle some otherworldy mystery in front of him and he’s sure to have a strong response.

He’s not overly expressive. Scorpio tends to hold his cards close to his chest. This is because he hates to feel vulnerable. Even if he is involved in expressive arts like theatre or acting when it comes to his personal life he is less expressive than most. Of course, this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel an abundance of emotions (he does), but rather that he feels at an instinctive level to contain them until it’s expression is entirely needed.

He can be guarded and stand-offish.  At his core, Scorpio is soft, caring and sensitive. He just hates showing weakness and vulnerability so he learns early on to put up a self-protective mask. Scorpio children tend to have intense childhoods, and if he suffered any neglect or abuse when young it can be very hard for him to open up to others later in life. To let his guard down Scorpio needs to feel that a person (or environment) is both physically and emotionally safe. A challenging thing for the ever-cautious Scorpio to find. But no matter how guarded he may seem at any given time, always remember that it is a mask that he wears, not his true self. He’s really a softy once you get close to him.

He’s secretive. Even when Scorpio lets his guard down with someone he can’t help but still keep some of his secrets hidden away. His feelings and fears run so deep that his subconscious makes it near impossible for him to open up fully. This also means that some of his secret motivations are hidden even from himself. His concealed nature can unnerve those who are close to him and make outsiders wonder if he has malicious intent. While he certainly can harbor maliciousness, this is usually not the case.

He’s persistent. Like all fixed Signs, Scorpio is stubborn in the pursuit of his goals. Scorpio will have many setbacks in his life. He is the sign of transformation and life seems to confront him with growth opportunities at every turn. But no matter the obstacle he never gives up on the things that matter to him. His life is a constant cycle of crash, burn and rise from the ashes. He’ll never once second-guess his ability to achieve his goal in the end, even if he’s forced to table a goal for years.

He can be demanding. Scorpio is one of the most demanding men of the zodiac. He expects and demands a lot out of people. Even though he has high standards and expectations, he may not always live up to them himself.

He experiences many trials and tribulations in his life. Scorpio is here to transform. As such, he constantly runs into challenges that he must confront and conquer. Every obstacle he faces is an opportunity for him to grow into a better version of himself. Sometimes he may recoil from challenges, but his attempts at resistance will only lead him to bigger upheavals down the road. Scorpio cannot escape his path of transformation, he must learn to revel in it.

He has a penchant for arguing. Scorpio loves intellectual discourse, being right and he’s not the type to back down. This is a recipe for a forceful debater. Always be wary when in a heated debate with a Scorpio. He is a prideful, emotional being and if he feels offended he can turn from jovial to vicious on a dime. He hates to lose or to be wrong about anything. In fact, he has a hard time admitting (or even believing it) when he is wrong.

Related: 4 Key Steps to Get a Scorpio Man to Chase You

He likes being in the spotlight. But only so often. Depending on his mood Scorpio will oscillate from hiding in the shadows to shining in the spotlight. He knows instinctively how to charm and dominate a social situation. He’s outwardly poised, though of course, this can be a mask for an intense, hidden personality that simmers beneath his curated exterior. The moment he loses his sense of safety or control he will withdraw back into his protective shell, and out of the limelight.

He can have an explosive temper. Scorpio man comes with a sting. He’s intense, serious and sometimes stern. He always keeps a cool exterior, but when threatened can lash out with intensity. Always be cautious around a Scorpio who seems on edge or backed into a corner. Unlike the quickly erupting anger of fellow Mars-ruled Aries, Mars-Pluto ruled Scorpio tends to quietly simmer before exploding. If you observe him closely you should be able to catch when he starts to stew inside.

At times he can lack empathy. Scorpio is normally an empathetic friend and lover. But when he feels low he can get lost in his depths and isn’t able to express what’s boiling inside of him. When this happens he shuts down and becomes cold and uncaring towards friends and family members.  He’s even capable of becoming twisted and sadistic if he is off center enough. Because he is normally caring and supportive it can be quite confusing when he goes cold like this.

He’s a problem solver. Scorpio is intuitive and resourceful, making him a great friend to help you solve any kind of issue. He’s also super honest. So if you’re sick of getting lackluster advice, go to Scorpio for the real gems of truth.

He’s courageous. Scorpio is known for his bravery on the battle-field. Many famous generals and war-heroes were born under the sign of Scorpio. He is strategic, unafraid and fiercely protective of those in his ranks. He will put his life and reputation on the line to protect the people and causes that are important to him.

Next, how does a Scorpio man act when he’s in love?

Scorpio Man in Love

How does a Scorpio man act when he’s in Love?

He wants to go deep with you. When a Scorpio man is falling in love with you he will want to peer deep into your soul. He will want to know every important thing about you and he will even help you find out things you don’t yet know about yourself.

He’s very physical. A Scorpio in love is an incredibly physical lover. He loves on all levels, mind, body, and spirit. For this to work though he needs to have a physical connection with you. His desire to merge with his partner will be thwarted without intense physical closeness. Without it, he will be missing a very important aspect of the connection.

He’s protective. He wants to protect those who matter to him and will do so at all costs. It’s endearing, and his intentions are always good. But a Scorpio in love can sometimes go overboard with his protectiveness, crossing the line into possessiveness or overly shielding you from the world.

Related: 11 Things to Know About the Scorpio Man in Bed

He’s deeply loyal. When a Scorpio man is in love he is rarely promiscuous. Sometimes people believe Scorpios to be licentious because of their highly sexual nature, but this is a mischaracterization. Above all, sex for Scorpio is about depth of feeling. He is a fixed sign, and once he sets his mind on someone he tends to commit unwaveringly. He is very selective, but once he’s emotionally connected with someone it’s hard for him to detach. Once a Scorpio finds a partner that he deems worthy he will tend to stay with the relationship for life.

He’s incredibly tuned in to his lover. Scorpio is a feminine (water) sign with an incredible depth of emotionality and intuitive comprehension of his lover’s states. He understands intimately how a woman feels; how she’s sensitive to her own emotions, moods, etc. His understanding is not superficial either, not mentally but from a deep, almost biological knowing.

How to Attract a Scorpio Man


Get to know his traits. How to seduce a Scorpio man? Understand how he works. Read the traits listed at the beginning of the article multiple times. And don’t stop there. Research more into the Scorpio persona. The more you understand this mysterious man the more likely you’ll be able to attract this notoriously guarded man.

Be a genuinely nice person. One of the things Scorpio hates most is people who are fake and ingenuine. He’s a deep guy and he’s drawn to deep, genuine people. If you’re used to hiding behind a mask, don’t bother. He can see right through it, and through you. He reads non-verbal clues easily. If you want to attract a Scorpio man you must be in touch with yourself and carry a good soul.

Show confidence and composure. What attracts Scorpio men most? Women who are confident and in control. To attract Scorpio you must stand out, but not by being loud or flashy. Scorpio is turned on by quiet strength. They can feel your aura, so sit back, relax and emanate a calm and unphased quality.

Showcase your feminine charms. Typically, Scorpio is a dominant man who is attracted to highly feminine and submissive women. The higher the sexual polarities between you are the more he will be drawn into you. Note that being submissive to him doesn’t mean being weak. He doesn’t want a woman who submits to the rest of the world, only to him.

Show him your powerful side. Scorpio wants to have a powerful partner. He is drawn to people who inspire envy in others. It’s not all about looks. It’s also commanding social skills, professional achievement, and dominant humor. Any traits that other people gravitate towards and like. Overall he will be much more attracted to a partner (or potential partner) if they stir admiration in the people around them. So showcase any powerful aspects of your personality, because this guy appreciates that.

Related: Why are Scorpio People So Good in Bed?

Make sure he sees you looking your best. Scorpio wants his partner to be physically attractive. Even though he’s a deep guy he still focuses a lot on physical appearances. He appreciates a woman who is in shape and takes good care of herself. Dress seductively, but don’t show it all. Show a bit of cleavage, a bit of skin, but have everything else covered up. They like the mystery of it all. They like to picture what you look like underneath. So always do your best to look your best, and he will take note.

Pay close attention to what he says. Scorpio men don’t reveal much, especially early on in a relationship. So when he does talk, pay close attention. He might just reveal something that’s important to his psychology. Treat anything he reveals like gold because such revelations are rare.

Be honest with him. He knows when you’re lying and it bothers him. Still think you can sneak something by him? Scorpio is like a walking, human lie detector. Even if you do manage to deceive him, he will eventually find out. And it’s not a good look for you.

Respect his tight-lipped nature. Scorpio prefers to keep his feelings concealed. He’s not necessarily trying to be secretive, he just respects private things. You might not have a clue how much he likes you, other than you might notice a smoldering, burning energy when you’re around him or he stares at you longer than what’s normal. Even if you pick up his attraction don’t prod or push him about declarations of interest. He will let you know his feelings when he’s ready.

Help him soften his heart. Scorpio is the most cautious man of the zodiac, and being on guard all the time can be tiring. So help him loosen up a bit. He needs to be coaxed out of him. Make him feel safe, loved and taken care of. Most importantly show him that you are patient and that he can trust you.

Never try to control him. It’s not a good idea to butt heads with Scorpio man. Especially if you are trying to get him to do something that he doesn’t want to do. He hates being controlled. You must let him live life on his own terms. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stick up for yourself. You should always stick up for your own needs and independence. He might not like it, but he will respect you for it. And it will make things a lot easier for you in the long run.

Don’t be phased if he acts hot and cold. Opening up in relationships is challenging for Scorp, so he might subconsciously play games to test you. One day he’s warm and sweet with you, the next he’s suddenly cold and distant. These men take relationships very seriously and they value honesty, consistency, and they’re incredibly trustworthy themselves once in a relationship. But early on they can play these hot and cold games to test the waters (aka your resolve) in their own way.  Try to not let it phase you. Know that once they do become serious their stable, trustworthy and honest side dominates.

Related: Who is Scorpio’s Soulmate Sign?

Don’t be easily unnerved. Scorpio can be blunt and cutting. He is attracted to women who do not get easily offended and can handle any taboo or discursive topics that he brings up.

Don’t pander to his ego. Scorpio knows his own worth, and unnecessary flattery turns him off. He doesn’t need you to constantly praise him or build him up. He’s not a Leo. If anything, trying to please his ego all the time will just cause him to question your motives.

Reveal yourself to him slowly. Scorpio loves mysteries and the unknown. He gets bored with people that he can figure out easily – which is the majority of people he comes across. He’s that good at understanding a person. So be mysterious. Make yourself a puzzle for him to figure out. By being vague and alluring you will make him want to figure you out.

Play a little hard to get. It’s a turn off for Scorp to feel like you want him more than he wants you. He doesn’t want an easy girl, at least not as a long-term partner. He wants to make sure you’re worthy of his devotion. He’ll be far more impressed if you seem a little aloof and disinterested than if you’re swooning all over him. So delay satisfaction, tease him a little. You can even be a little mean to him. It will stir him up (in a good way). Don’t worry if you make him feel a little rejected. Sure, he might get a little mad or upset. But overall he’s less sensitive about this than other signs. It might just give him the push he needed to come after you.

Emphasize your loyal nature. Scorpio has a sore spot around loyalty. His worst fear is having someone close, especially a partner, betray him intimately. So go out of your way to show that you honor and appreciate loyalty in every aspect of life.

Be involved in a cause. Scorpio has an innate desire to make an impact on the world by improving society and people’s lives. If you have a passion that you care deeply about; whether it be social, environmental, or political, share it with him. He will be able to connect with you more easily because he sees you share a common dream of improving life on the planet.

Don’t challenge him publicly. Watch out if you’re the type that likes to prove to others that you can hold your own in a relationship. While Scorpio invites critiques and differences in opinion in private, he will not like it if you challenge him in front of people. It will cast him in a critical light, which he doesn’t like, and he will resent your approval seeking behavior. Disagreeing with him in a playful way is fine (and recommended). But if he senses that you’re actually openly challenging him in front of others he will take it as a threat and will find it hard to fully trust you.

Make some sexual jokes. Scorp man likes this. There’s always a smoldering sexual energy beneath Scorpio’s measured appearance. Underneath all of his interactions there lies a sexual tension. So if you broach sexuality, especially in a joking manner, he will be intrigued. And since sex is so important to Scorpio, you can glean a lot about him based on his reactions or any jokes or comments he makes himself.

Create an appealing environment. Scorpio loves beautiful, attractive spaces and places. If you have a great house, find a way to bring him to it. If you know of a beautiful, secret location in your town, bring him there.

Don’t change who you are to please him. He wants a partner who is real and unabashedly themselves. Don’t rush to change yourself if there’s something you like to do that he’s not into, or you have an interest that he’s opposed to. Don’t be afraid to defy him a little. Remember, he wants to be with a powerful partner. Not a pushover. If your differences really are that big then it perhaps wasn’t meant to be for you two. It’s better to realize that early than being stuck in a relationship that you’ve sacrificed who you are for.

Know that he is incredibly selective with high standards. A Scorpio man will need a partner who satisfies his myriad qualifications in a lover. He needs to be satisfied with the depth of their personality, how they dress, how they spend their time, etc. If he chooses you, there’s something about you they picked out as important. In relationship he expects his partner to have consistent, logical and measured responses to circumstances. In contrast, he hates flaky, indecisive, and inconsistent people.

Next, how to know if a Scorpio man likes you.

10 Signs that a Scorpio Man likes You

1.) You catch his penetrating eyes digging into you. Scorpio loves a good mystery. He’ll try to figure out a potential romantic partner quickly by studying their every move. Being under his gaze can feel a little unnerving for you. You might feel exposed and vulnerable as from his look. But if you feel this from Scorpio, rest assured that he’s got some interest in you.

2.) You hear that he’s been asking around about you. A Scorpio with a crush is a man obsessed. He must know everything there is to know about you. He’s normally pretty cautious about revealing his newfound obsession in you, but it might get slipped to you that he’s been poking around for information about you. You know a Scorpio man is falling for you when he’s snooping around like this.

3.) He’s intensely focusing his attention on you. You’ll probably only catch this if he’s open to you knowing about his interest. If he doesn’t want you to know, you probably won’t. He will secretly, obsessively stalk you day in and day out. Seeking info about you on all social media & Google searches. He’s sneaky, but if you pay close attention to how he’s acting when he’s around you he can’t help but give himself away. He also might try to keep tabs on you. What you’re doing, where you’re going, who you’re going to be with. It might be a little creepy at first, him keeping tabs on you like this is him being interested in you.

4.) He touches you “by accident”. Scorpio loves to touch and get physical. So you can be sure of his interest if he’s hovering close enough to graze your shoulder when he passes. Or any other seemingly aloof physical touch that he pretends he didn’t mean to do it but you know that he did.

Related: Why are Scorpio People So Attractive?

5.) He tests you. Scorpio always knows exactly what buttons to push with people. He normally holds off with this, but he will probably test some by pressing a few of your buttons to see what you do. Don’t expect him to own up to it. He’ll probably act aloof, but rest assured, it probably means he likes you.

6.) He wants to spend a lot of time with you. Scorpio is a mostly solitary creature. Even if he has a lot of friends, he’ll only be truly close with a select few. Scorp isn’t always interested in finding new people to befriend. So if he is seeking you out, you must have really caught his attention. Even if he’s just looking to be your friend, consider yourself lucky. Take advantage of his interest and show him how great you are.

7.) He wants to know all of your secrets. And it won’t be just the standard embarrassing childhood stories. No, he’ll be after all of your dark, weird stories and your hidden quirks.

8.) He includes you in his social groups. You can be pretty sure of Scorpio’s interest if he is inviting you to spend time with his friends and family. Family and close friends are important to this man, and if he’s wanting you to be a part of his tight-knit crowd, well, you can bet he’s grown quite fond of you.

9.) He shares private things about himself with you. This is a telltale sign of Scorpio attraction. He’s notoriously slow to let people into his inner sanctum, so if he’s revealing personal things to you, he’s definitely into you. There’s no other explanation for a Scorpio revealing himself so freely. He has a hard enough time opening up to close family and friends. There’s almost no doubting his attraction for you if he is revealing genuine secrets or private information to you.

10.) He pines after you secretly while outwardly treating you with destain. This happens when Scorpio is being insecure about revealing his interest. It’s a way for him to analyze you safely from a distance while testing to see where you stand. If he does this and you sense that he’s shielding his attraction, be assured that he has a thing for you but is not sure yet where you stand with him.

Of course, he might also just tell you that he likes you. A typical Scorpio prefers to hide his initial attraction until he’s gone through his full reconnaissance process (aka stalking you to the point of finding everything there is to know about you). But Scorpio can be blunt, and sometimes he just won’t be able to hold back. If a Scorpio tells you he likes you it’s safe to assume he’s already thoroughly observed you from a distance for who knows how long.

Related: Are Scorpios Loyal Partners?

Dating a Scorpio Man

Allow him to be chivalrous. Scorpio likes a strong, empowered woman. But he also prefers a feminine woman who defers to him and likes to be taken care of by her man. So when dating, go out of your way to let him dote on you. Slow down before you reach the door so he can open it for you. Tell him what you like to eat and drink so he can order it for you. He wants to come off as powerful and in control. So help him to embody those qualities and Scorpio will grow more and more attracted to you.

Show him your independent nature. Scorpio doesn’t want to see you clingy, especially early on. Scorpios are turned off by displays of dependency and weakness. Yes, if he likes you he wants to see you get attached. He wants to have your exclusive focus and devotion. But he also wants a woman who can handle being alone, make her own friends, and develop her hobbies and professional interests.

Be ready to take things slow at first. Scorpio takes time to open up. There are so many things that Scorpio man is not going to tell you in the beginning. Scorpio is a protective sign and will not risk exposing too much that could possibly be used to attack him in the future. He also appreciates a good mystery or challenge in the woman he’s dating. Be discreet when revealing yourself. With Scorpio, it’s best to make him do the work to get to know you and to pace the process out. Be aware that he’s good at quickly understanding people. You have to consciously act mysterious with the highly perceptive ones. Confuse him a bit, intentionally throw him off the trail a bit here and there and he will go wild for you.

Always support him around others. It’s good to be on his side at all times, but especially in social situations. Always stand by your Scorpio if someone is critiquing him. Do not join in with others who are joking at his expense. He needs to feel that he can trust those he’s close to. If he gets even a sliver of a sense that you’re not there for him 100% all the time, watch out. With Scorpio, you’re either with him or you’re against him.

Related: What are Scorpio’s Worst Traits?

Let him have his female friends. Scorpio is highly attracted to the feminine nature, and sometimes he’ll have a lot of female friends, perhaps more than male friends. Do not get upset by this or show jealousy. Scorpio has a bit of a double standard around jealousy. He can be jealous to the extreme, but he expects his partner to not be so jealous of him.

Know that he will amplify whatever emotions you show him. Scorpio has a radar for how you are feeling. Show him a negative side, and he will amplify your negativity back at you. Show him your loving side and he will mirror it with his. Own your feelings, act genuinely and his respect for you will grow.

Be aware of his jealous and possessive nature. Every Scorpio has the potential to get intensely jealous. When he gets fearful or threatened in a relationship he will often revert to this protective tendency. Suspicion can develop into paranoia and the Scorpio can sometimes slip into aggressive, neurotic behavior. Unfortunately, Scorpio can cling to you prematurely while dating and sometimes get jealous very early in the relationship. If you can, try to accept this potential in his nature. If you want to be with him, simply reassure him of your loyalty to him and let the jealousy blow over.

Make sure to assert yourself and your freedom. This is especially important if you’re the type of person who likes having a lot of space in relationship. Remember, Scorpio can get clingy and jealous early on in a relationship. He can also get controlling. Always make sure that you’ve set up strong boundaries with a Scorpio. He will want to consume you in every way, so make sure that he’s only taking what you’re wanting to give him.

Show him that you’re emotionally loyal. You might find a Scorpio who forgives you if you cheat on him physically, and he might even cheat himself for purely physical gratification. For him, a relationship is all about emotional loyalty. He wants to know that you’re solid and always there for him. The Scorpio inner world is so intense, so deep and so vulnerable that emotional reliability is essential for him to feel happy and safe in relationship. He needs you to be entirely there and he needs to feel that he has some kind of ownership over you emotionally.

Be sexually open. When it comes to the bedroom, Scorpio likes things to get very hot and heavy, both physically and emotionally. He wants to ravish your body and he wants to merge with your soul. It’s a wild ride. So let him have you. Let him possess your body and enter your soul. He will want to dominate and he will want to push your sexual limits. As long as you’re not made uncomfortable, go with the flow. Sex with Scorpio is a powerful experience. Rest assured that you’re experiencing something that you’d never be able to replicate with another sign.

Related: Why are Scorpios So Hated?

Be cautious that he’s not playing you. This tends to come from Scorpios with lower integrity. When they know they’re not going to be with someone long-term they still might pursue the relationship but only with the potential for a fling in mind. This can be rough for the partner because Scorpio will still show them all of his intense focus and he can really take them for a spin, only to later divulge his lack of seriousness about the relationship.

Dating a Scorpio will always be an intense experience. No matter the outcome of the relationship, you won’t forget this man. The intense experience of this lover will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Scorpio Man in Bed

How to Sexually please a Scorpio man. To make your Scorpio satisfied in your bed simply allow him to take control. Sex with Scorpio is a wild ride. Be present, be open and let him ravish you. He wants to feel like the alpha between the sheets, so emphasize your submissive side. If you’re more sexually experienced than him, don’t flaunt it. Expect things to get kinky, too. Satisfy those dark, taboo urges in him and he will fall at your knees.

He sees sex as deeply spiritual. While Scorpio loves raw, animalistic sexual expressions, he also sees sex as a potent spiritual outlet. Expect Scorpio to be drawn to tantric forms of sexuality and want to explore them with you during some of your sexcapades.

He needs sex to be deeply bonding. Scorpio wants to get as close as humanly possible with his partner, and sex is the best tool for him to be able to do that. This means sex with Scorpio has less to do with orgasms and more about getting on a certain level of intense connection.

Sex with Scorpio means baring your souls. When you’re engaged in sex you’re at your most wide open. There’s no mask to hide behind, you’re entirely exposed. You express in ways you wouldn’t in ordinary life. You say things you wouldn’t normally say, do things you wouldn’t normally do. And these are the things Scorpio wants to see most from his partner. All the little, hidden idiocracies underneath you’re usual demeanor.

Next, what to do when a Scorpio man is upset or losing interest.

How to Get a Scorpio Man Back

Coax him out of his tendency to shut down after a breakup. Scorpio tends to close off and grow cold after a split. He does this as a protective measure, not because he wants to be mean to you. It’s his way of avoiding vulnerability and protecting himself from future disappointment and pain due to the relationship. You can counter this by, first, giving him a little bit of space. Don’t press him super hard, as that’s never a good look. When you do have the opportunity to talk to him, be gentle, understanding and remind him of all the good times you’ve have had together.

Make him feel (a little) jealous. Scorpio is at his most insecure after a breakup, and what does an insecure Scorpio tend to do? Get jealous. He will probably cringe just at the idea of you getting on with another man. This affects his self-esteem, which is something to leverage. So if you want him back provoke his need to be the only one to possess you by dangling in front of him the idea that you’re content on your own or at ease with finding another partner. This will stir him up and provoke him to try to claim you once more. Be cautious though not to get him too upset with jealousy. If you flaunt it too much he might get upset enough to genuinely lose interest in you.

Remind him of your reliability. Perhaps the relationship went south because he lost faith in you. Maybe you were inconsistent or untrustworthy at times. Perhaps you have a history of telling him you’d act a certain way but not end up following through. Even little inconsistencies can add up to seriously irritate Scorpio. Get him back by emphasizing your renewed reliability. Show him, in any little way you can, that you’re better now and he can trust you to be consistent.

Stop trying to change him. No one’s perfect, and I’m sure your Scorpio man has some flaws. But did you make a habit out of critiquing him during your relationship? If your partnership went south partly because of things you didn’t like about him, there’s little you can do to force change out of him. If you really want to be with him, learn to accept him for the way he is (or another woman will).

Make him miss you by showing him your independence. Scorpio man wants a woman who is strong and independent. Perhaps part of the problem with your relationship was that you lost yourself in it. Scorpio wants you to love and dote on him, but he doesn’t want you to be codependent. So show him that you’re having fun without him, that you’re doing things, exploring yourself. This will allure him and make him want to rediscover you. Above all show him that you’re happy, rather than wallowing after the breakup.

Have sex with him. Scorpio bonds intensely through sex. If he’s on the fence about getting back with you but is willing to get at least a little intimate you are in a good place. If you two end up having sex again, he will likely start to develop the feels for you all over.

Next, who is Scorpio man Compatible with?

Best Matches & Compatibility for Scorpio Man

What are the most compatible signs for Scorpio? Overall the best matches for Scorpio man are fellow water signs and the earth signs.


Thes natives go together very well and make an unstoppable team that’s built to last. They’re both loyal signs that are comfortable with commitment. The’yre both powerful, ambitious, good with money, and like to plan for the long term. These two both value hard work and create incredible material successes together. Sexual sparks fly, and all goes well as long as Capricorn is willing to occasionally let Scorpio dominate them (both are naturally very dominant people).


Both of these signs are caring, cautious and reserved. They’re service-oriented and like to serve others and society as a whole. They’re also both devotional and desire to grow themselves towards higher spiritual expressions. Overall these two complement each other very well. Oh, and the sex is great!


These two have their differences, but they’re complementary rather than being problematic. Powerful Scorpio makes soft and sensitive cancer feel secure and protected, physically and emotionally. Cancer’s natural propensity for devotion and a desire to please keeps Scorpio’s potential nervousness and jealousy in a relationship at bay. Both signs truly know how to nurture one another, which is important for both of them to have to be happy in a relationship. Overall, this is a pair that can last a lifetime.


These two share a mystical, powerful connection. Scorpio is fascinated by mystery and otherworldliness. Pisces is essentially an embodiment of an otherworldly being. Sensitive Pisces is always trying to figure out how to be in the world. most days they might feel like drifting away into the abyss. Scorpio knows how to comfort and reassure Pisces in this way, all the while being fascinated about how they operate. Scorpio wants to be in charge and Pisces is happy to let Scorpio take charge. Both are fantastic caregivers for one another, Scorpio giving sensitive Pisces a sense of groundedness and safety in the world, while Pisces provides Scorpio with a soft soul to take care of as well as an embodied gateway into the transcendent.

Remaining signs.

What’s left are the fire signs, the air signs as well as the earthy Taurus and fellow Scorpio.

Scorpio can match decently with some of the remaining signs, and horribly with some others.

I won’t touch on the rest in this post, but you can find the standalone compatibility posts that compare Scorpio to each of the remaining signs.

Keep Reading:


Loren Elara

Hi, I’m Loren. Welcome to Popular Astrology. You can learn more about me and this website here.

32 thoughts on “The Scorpio Man: Everything you’ve Wanted to Know”

  1. Theres a scorpio im interested in, i wanted to tell him i missed him and like him, i found a green teddy bear with his favorite color. I was gonna tell him when hes alone. Is this a good idea, do you think he’ll appreciate it?

  2. The Scorpio man I’m seeing will let a week go by with out a text or call but look at all my social media status?

    1. So he’s still keeping constant tabs on you. That’s good. It means you matter to him. He might just be being extra cautious and aloof. When you do call or text, notice his level of intrigue. If he’s overly distant or vague with his attention then he might be losing interest.

  3. My Scorpio bf was hurt really badly in his past 2 relationships. He finally told me he loved me a few months ago, but hasnt said it since. He’s sometimes emotionally distant. Not in a mean way, but like afraid to be vulnerable. He was super open when we first met tho.

    1. Yes, this sounds like Scorpio. They can be very protective of vulnerable feelings. They want to get close but paradoxically fear it. Perhaps you could gently bring up relationships (his past ones, or relationships in general) and mention how much you support him and accept him unconditionally. That anything he did to hurt or sabotage his relationships on his side is okay. And that you’re not afraid to see any parts of him that he doesn’t like. Done gently, this can coax him to feel safer to open up.

  4. i am dating a scorpio guy and we in a great place ,bt lately i feel like he is becoming a bit distant . And I want to make him feel safe with me. what shud i say or do to him to keep him with me or to make him feel safe with me. I am terribly afraid of losing him cause he is ma life

    1. Hey, Meg. He might be becoming distant because you’re leaning into him and the relationship too strong. I might give him a little space and see how he responds. It will also help you to step back just a little bit so you can gain some perspective – you don’t want someone to “be your life” and be terribly afraid to lose them. It’s good to be close and involved with a partner, but you don’t want to come across as entirely reliant on them. Independence is attractive.

  5. I was in a relationship with a Scorpio man almost 3 years. We have just broken up last week. Both of us are in pain now. He acted on&off, hot&cold lately then completely be distant. When we meet, he still cares about me, still find a way to make love with me. After that, he continues being distant and acting cold. I’m so tired and confused. What should I do?

    1. I’m sorry for the breakup, Jenny. His emotions make sense for a Scorpio coping with relationship disharmony and separation. I would give space for now, since it’s only been a week. Let the emotions settle and then try to talk things over and assess everything.

  6. i was once connected with a scorpio man but because of low selfesteem i questioned him a lot and he eventually drifted away then after almost 3 months of no contact he ask me to have sex with him but i refused coz i think its the best decision coz we no longer have connection since and it eventually led me to get angry to him and i said i was going to curse at him. but after that i was the only one saying sorry to him and even offer him to do it but then he was i think angry at me that he didnt even read my messages now so i totally not contact him after saying sorry and thank you. But why am i still think of him after feeling disrespected and i even lowered down just to end us not feeling any resentment towards others. How to finally let go of someone? I dont want to think about him anymmore. everytime i go to bed at night and wake up in the morning he always pops in my mind. I even tried flirting with other guys but i still tend to compare them with him. i am tired feeling this already.:(

    1. I’m sorry about this, RJ. It does sound like there’s an incompatibility between you. I would say to keep going with your life and meeting other people/guys. In time you will think about him less and less.

  7. I m in a relationship with a scorpio man. Been dating for a year and in a relationship for 4 months now. 2 month ago i found he still is in contact with his ex in mutual terms after breakup, but she was unaware of him dating me. Turns out she is still crazy over my man and wants him still. My bf told they ended on mutual terms and he blocked her that moment. I told him if u will call or be frens with her on social media, do let me know. Few days ago i found he again unblocked her and is frens with her. But he hasn’t told me this yet. I m so shattered. What should i do?

    1. Hi Suzanne. Sounds like your Scorp is being a bit devious with you. I would enforce that boundary you set. Tell him that he crossed it, and that you expect him to be clear with you in the future. And that if he’s not able to respect your boundary, that you’d be willing to withdraw from him or walk away. If he truly respects your relationship, he will respect your boundary and will be more forthcoming with you in the future. If not, his lose. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who shows up in an honest way.

  8. I’m really interested in a Scorpio man and have already told him basically I was very interested early on with not much of a response back. However, he throws tid bits of conversation that make me think he might be interested. For instance when I missed his call he stated oh I just thought you were with your man and you couldn’t answer, of course I assured him I didn’t have a man. Then I thought, is he really just asking without asking if I have a man? Is he interested? We have great conversations and have so many things in common, BUT…. He has also told me he and a ex and starting talking back but she has made it clear they are just friends. So I don’t know. I don’t want to push him but I also don’t want to put my heart out there if he is only wanting a friendship that he has not commented on either way.

    1. It sounds like he may not be hugely into idea of romance with you, at least right now. When a Scorpio man is into you, you’ll typically feel it. They really dial in on the object of their interest. It’s likely that he’s enjoying the friendship, but not looking for more. Before putting your heart into it, I’d watch to see his moves. And keep looking into ways to build his attraction.

    2. I have been dating a Scorpio man for about three years, and he’s definitely hot and cold, very distant, I don’t see him but every other month now. He tells me stuff about what is going on, but I still don’t trust him as much as I used to. Everytime I think I have moved on, he comes back. It’s like he knows I’m trying to leave him alone, what should I do, I don’t want to give up three years, but heart can’t take him leaving over and over again.

      1. Hey. Your Scorpio man does sound like he’s lost a lot of interest in the relationship, unfortunately. A Scorpio who’s invested will be much more available for his love interest. It sounds like he still is trying to keep you attached though, judging by his behavior when he feels that you are drifting away/moving on. I would recommend cutting his energy off until he shows a willingness to show up more in your life. If he doesn’t, then he’s not the man for you. You deserve someone who’s much more attentive to you.

  9. I have been dating a scorpio guy for 4 months, but lately he’s been blowing hot and cold. Sometimes not answering my calls. He has a wild past and I don’t fully trust him. I’ve noticed that I’ve been the one making the effort to keep the relationship going where I’m just giving and giving but receiving nothing in return. I’ve mentioned how everything makes me feel but it keeps getting worse. We hardly see each other because of the distance and he always expects me to come to him but when I ask him to come, he would arrange and make plans but never follow through. He assured me he loves me but he actions says something different. Am I being used and wasting my time here?

    1. Your definitely wasting your time you Should call it off with him and move on it’s gonna feel better don’t allow poor behavior from any man get you addicted they are smart devious and very sneaky do you get on with your life you’ll thank me once you find another msn who will value love you & truly respect you more …3xs is too much of he’s done it more than that he’s basically tearing you apart inside & treating you like a doormat love move on you deserve it find help and get away ASAP you deserve better

  10. I have been dating and seeing Scorpio man for 8 months. The relationship started out good we really was enjoying each other I just feel as though they he was taking advantage of me and because he always kept asking me for money all the time and and he never pay me back ..I want out of the relationship he won’t let go I’ll try expressing to him how I feel I feel as though the He does not consider my feelings its all about him he’s very controlling very Cunning manipulator opinionated I’m just not happy anymore and. And I want out he tells me over and over and that I love you and you not going anywhere. And he says that I’m his soulmate I just feel he’s too obsessed I still love him but I’m just not in love. I’ve been straight up and honest with him about my feelings and it seems like he don’t care I need help.

  11. My Scorpio interest.
    I texted him why was he ignoring me and he said we are just friends. Then
    I texted him we are not friends, and that I get it.
    (I thought that he wasn’t interested by how he didn’t wave back to me so that’s when I texted him)
    Our friendship consisted of him, saying good morning and watching me.
    Some time ago he stared at me so intently, twice.

    I did it right back. He then walked away.
    On Monday he dressed up in fine clothes and I noticed but we didn’t talk
    On Tuesday he came over to me and I told him he was handsome in those clothes. I also asked him if he had somewhere special to go and he said no.

    He would come over to me when I was interacting with male friends. This happened once.
    Today after I had sent the text, he followed me to where I was and a male friend that I was

    talking to.
    He looked at me but he wouldn’t let me see his eyes
    Then he did it again. After that he kept walking.
    I do like him a lot. But I do not know where and what this is about.

  12. I’ve been speaking to Scorpio man for couple of months. It’s been a friendship building phase, kissed once. He asked if I wanted to make some money in a short term investment. I gave him the money for it to be doubled in a week. I’m still waiting and he is being distant- now s we us it won’t be given back to me double just the original amount. Have I been scammed

  13. My relationship with my scorpio male started as an affair almost a decade ago. We never could stay completely away, even after not talking for up to a year once.. I am now in the middle of a divorce and he has been there for me. He’s told me he loves me and is in love with me. But he also plays games with me. Lots of hot and cold. I catch him in little lies here and there. But when I am truly upset he listens and puts in more effort.
    However he recently got cold again. He’s working nights so I know that’s a problem but he didn’t reach out to me for days. I told him that I didn’t like that…I worry about him as he is a type one diabetic. Plus, I sometimes wonder what he really is up to. He told me he likes to keep me on my toes. I think that is manipulative and I told him so. I said if he wants to play games then I am out. I’ve gotten no response. I want to retract what I said, in fear of losing him but at the same time I think he should reach out to me if I’m what he wants.
    The whole thing torments me. I feel so connected to him and I believe he feels the same. Will he come back? I worry I stress him too much with my codependent nature. I lasso worry he’s a bit of a player.
    I’m a Virgo female.

    1. Hi, Rania. It does sound like he wants to play games, so you should hold to your commitment to be out, in that case. If he wants to show more devotion, then he’ll have to earn it. And if he doesn’t, it shows that he wasn’t being serious-minded about you.

  14. I met a scorpio man via a dating app about 1.5 years ago. The first date was fantastic. By the second date I got a tad clingy? On what was supposed to be the third date he slept off leaving me at the door knocking for 20 good minutes. I saw red, got myself into a cab and left. Told him this won’t work out. I was in a “serious relationships only” head space then and being a taurus I have insane pride. Deleted his number and never contacted him again. I blocked him out so well I hardly remember the specifics of this time.

    Present day around a month back he reached out again. He had moved cities and was in my city for a night. He wanted to see me again. Now I’m in a better head space. Casual till it gets serious, great friends, a full life. I cancelled a date for him and obv told him about my efforts lol. The sex was everything I had ever wanted. Dominating. I am a natural sub. Dominance makes me come alive in bed. The morning after felt a tad awkward and I thought, there we have post nut clarity and I’m never seeing this one again. Tbh I was absolutely fine with that. But a week later he reaches out and tell me that he nearly died (massive organ failure) and hence he wasn’t able to get back to me (stalked him to find this was true) The second I was back in town he booked his tickets and came to see me. Stayed with me a full 2 days and boy am I smitten? Like he’s all I can think about. The sex, the physical affection. He met a few of my friends, backed me up in an argument with someone and yelled at me for telling him what to do at one point (turned me on like crazy, this) I know I want him but I’ve made it very clear to him that I’m not going to be chasing. I’ll die before I put myself up for rejection.

    Why am I writing this essay? Cz I’m not sure what to do. I genuinely feel like he likes me. He’s admitted to obsess over the sex but I’m not very sure how much he likes me as a partner for the long run. I can definitely see us together cz I haven’t obsessed over someone in my head like this in a very long time. Thank god for pride or I’d be putty in his hands to play with. Loren, can you tell me what to do? I want to sit back and enjoy this but we live in different cities and the gaps in which I see him are unbearable. He may move to a farther city soon. We are to discuss this once he’s back in town next month. Can you help me with these intense feelings cz I feel if they go unrequited for long I may die from being breathless. God, I sound like a loon.

    I’m scared afff he’ll see this comment here and since this story is pretty specific and unique it won’t take much to figure who wrote it lol. But i guess it’s a risk I’m willing to take? As long as I can get some proper feedback from a random person on the internet (Omg I’m really a loon) Okay. Fin.

    1. Added comment on this, while he was here last and stayed with me for a good 2 days he went through all my likes on my dating app and matched me with 7-8 people and asked me to speak with them, Funny that I forgot to mention it on the main post, because this is the only reason I’m unsure about his emotional feelings for me. If he hadn’t done this I’d be damn sure he was falling for me just as much as I for him.

  15. I started seeing a Scorpio I met online in July last year. I honestly don’t know temporary psychosis made me agree to dinner at his home. Most likely I thought he was normal because he lives in the same affluent neighborhood as me. Well anyway I went and had decided ahead of time I wasn’t going to sleep with him as he fit my description of husband material. So I arrive and his eyes are bugged and he’s obviously very pleased with my looks, we had a great dinner, one that he made himself, over wine and amazinggggggg conversation! So afterwards I was nervously suggesting that we move to the sofa to continue talking when he pulled my chin to him softly and kissed me. After a few seconds he picked me up and carried me to his bed. I couldn’t even protest it was all overwhelmingly sexy. Well that began a love affair. In the time we dated he has opened up to me about his life and his trauma and even cried heavy tears begging me to never leave him after we have had a couple of, I can’t even call them arguments. He disappointed me twice when I felt he should have been there for me, blocked me when I got upset but before I could express it and then sobbed while making love to me. But aside from that we always have the most spiritual connection and our love making really upsets his neighbors lol. Anyway on to the problem. We’re both divorced but I have not been affected by mine, he however feels betrayed and his ex wife uses their daughter against him. For his birthday on 11/15 I spoiled him and he was so humbled it I didn’t think it was a big deal, but that’s when I noticed he was busier and busier. My birthday followed not even a month later and he apologized and said he was out of town… the last time I’ve seen him was 12/8 and when I questioned the sudden distance he said he owes me more of an explanation it that his 6 yr old daughter had opted to hang with her moms new boyfriend over him and it broke him and now he just needs some time. He says he needs to heal and now we no longer stay in touch:( I feel so heartbroken.
    Ps Sorry for the rant

  16. This was a great read. I am a Cancer woman dealing with a Scorpio man who I love dearly but currently we are only friends. He is the most passionate and equally complex person I’ve ever met because he seems deeply into me, yet, when I asked him if he had feelings for me (about a year into it) he said not romantically. His actions scream a different story. His actions are what made me fall in love with him. The way he stares through me and knows me to my core in this short of a time is intoxicating. it’s going on 2.5 years since we met and I can’t shake my feelings, or help believing that he is lying to me about his. He’s so open with me, protective of me, endearing towards me. He’s essentially performing all the things a traditional boyfriend is doing minus the intimacy (from a distance because he lives in a different state)… but this year there’s been new sexual tension building up between us that I don’t know what to do about and he’s not making a real move. Am I crazy or is my Cancer intuition picking up what’s really going on under his exterior?

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